


Chewing

by Elisexyz



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Banter, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e02 Four Marks, Pre-Relationship, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisexyz/pseuds/Elisexyz
Summary: The first time Jaskier sees Geralt coming back from a fight with a selkiemore. Spoiler: it smells and it will take some work to turn it into good poetry.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 40
Kudos: 80





	Chewing

**Author's Note:**

> This is set early during their friendship, because young Jaskier all reckless, ambitious and adventurous with a crush on his witcher is just really fun to write. Also, Geralt’s entrance in episode 4 might be my favourite Geraskier scene in the whole show, I wanted to write something related to it. Enjoy!

It’s by no means the best inn that he’s ever stayed at, but it definitely gains some points in virtue of the sole fact that they were let in in the first place – which, he has learned while travelling with Geralt, is apparently a ridiculously uncommon occurrence for the witcher; all the more proof that the man needs all the help that Jaskier can offer him.

The room is not exactly _clean_ , but the blanket sprawled on the bed is soft enough, and it doesn’t smell like something died in there, which is a _very good thing_ , not to be taken for granted. He had almost forgotten the smell of clean sheets.

Part of Jaskier is more than okay with being left behind, he muses, stretching his legs as he lays on the bed and feels his feet ascending to a higher, more peaceful state of being. He doesn’t think that he has walked this much in—ever. He’s probably walked more miles since when he met Geralt than in the rest of his life combined.

Which is actually pretty unfair, because Geralt has a _horse_. You’d think he’d be less possessive of her, now that he has a fragile human in dire need of a ride as a companion.

And, alright, Roach does bite and she doesn’t seem to like Jaskier very much, but he’s been working on getting on her good side, while Geralt isn’t looking. They’ll get there, he’s sure. He _must_ be better company than the man who gave her such an hideous name and makes her carry severed monster heads every other week.

The point is, getting some rest _is_ nice. Still, he’s beginning to get twitchy, waiting for the heroic deed to be done with so that he can immortalize it in song, and he’s actually vaguely _offended_ at being left behind, possibly because Geralt was not very nice about it.

Namely, he firmly said that he wouldn’t be coming along, and when Jaskier moved to follow him anyway Geralt simply grabbed him by the back of his doublet and _tossed him on the bed_. Like a _bag_.

Which, rude.

(Also vaguely attractive, but that’s a whole other matter.)

He didn’t even give him anything to chew on as he waits for his return! When Jaskier asked him what he thought he’d be dealing with, Geralt only grumbled that it’s ‘probably a selkie’ and offered _nothing else_.

He’s no help whatsoever.

That doesn’t leave him with much to do, but he manages to pass the time looking for words that rhyme with ‘selkie’, just in case it’s needed, and playing around with the catchy tune that’s been stuck in his head since morning.

Eventually, he hears heavy footsteps approaching, probably belonging to Geralt: he’s pretty sure he walks so heavily on purpose, since the first time he sneaked up on Jaskier after going to hunt dinner he screamed so loud that he scared poor Roach out of her mind.

Sure enough, Geralt soon throws the door open, and he looks—

“What the _fuck_ is that?” Jaskier shrieks, wrinkling his nose as a truly rotten smell hits him. Whatever it is, Geralt is _covered_ in it, head to toe, only his eyes glowing through all the dark matter.

“Selkiemore’s guts,” Geralt says, evenly.

The first thing that Jaskier notices is that apparently the monster is called a _selkiemore_ , so Geralt just made him waste all that time on a _nickname_ , and—who even nicknames _monsters_ , come _on_.

“I don’t understand, did you _bathe_ in them?” he asks then, instinctively getting up even though he isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be doing to help, when he remembers that this is far from the first time that he’s seen Geralt drenched in monster guts, but all the other times it was—it was never _like this_. That filth is _everywhere_. It’s like someone dropped a giant bucket of guts over his _head_. He looks like a drowned a cat. More specifically, a cat that was drowned in a _swamp_.

Geralt lets out a longsuffering sigh, one that probably means his patience for his questions is running very, _very_ thin, but he still explains: “It’s quicker if I get it from the inside.”

Jaskier nods automatically, humming in acknowledgement. “Right, right, from the inside—” _Then_ it hits him. “ _Wait a second_ , did it _eat_ you?!”

What the fuck.

Geralt rolls his eyes. “There was no chewing involved, it’s fine.”

What the _fuck_.

Jaskier has no idea what it’s like to be eaten alive by some monster or another, but he does _not_ care to try it or, for once, to _ask_ , as the mental image alone is making him sick—the smell probably doesn’t help, good gods, it’s _awful_.

“Oh, well, so long as there wasn’t any _chewing_ —” he parrots, throwing out his arms in a show of exasperation.

Geralt gives him a pointed look that he isn’t sure how to read, then he moves to step farther into the room. Which, no. Definitely not.

“Oh, no, nonono,” Jaskier quickly says, shaking his finger as Geralt gives him a puzzled look, though he does stop. Jaskier almost moves to push him back with a hand on his chest, out of habit, but he stops himself in time when the _smell_ hits him more strongly than before. How is Geralt not _gagging_? Maybe he’s used to it. Jaskier will probably get used to this kind of thing as well. Hopefully. “You stay right here while I ask for a bath, don’t you even _think_ about coming in or I’ll knock you on your arse.”

Geralt raises his eyebrows. “I’d like to see you try, bard,” he says, drily. Which, fair.

Without even considering that he should pay any mind to the vague threat behind Geralt’s words, Jaskier ushers him a little towards the right, so that he may slip out, giving him as wide a berth as he physically can while he does so.

Sure enough, when he comes back after ordering a thankfully not overcharged bath, Geralt is still where he left him, obediently keeping close to the door so he doesn’t leave a trail of guts around their room.

“Alright, your bath will be here in a few minutes,” Jaskier announces, cheerfully, getting a hum of acknowledgement as an answer. “Are there any life-threatening injuries under all—that? If you kneel over and die, you are going to make a true mess.”

“I’m fine.”

“Of course you are.”

Jaskier wouldn’t personally call getting _eaten_ by anything _fine_ , but he supposes that’s just part of Geralt’s life. It makes a grin tug at his lips and a shiver run up his spine, thinking of all the adventure and the _excitement_ that awaits him, following his new friend around. So many things to see, so many strong emotions to feel, and all so suitable for great ballads! Together, they will do magnificent things, and he cannot thank Destiny enough for putting him on Geralt’s path.

Geralt narrows his eyes at him. “What are you laughing at?” he asks, gruffly.

“Nothing!” Jaskier answers, brightly, his grin only widening. “I just really like you.”

Geralt raises his eyebrows, taking half a step back and probably thinking that he’s plotting his murder, because the man is full of trust issues, but when the bath comes he lets Jaskier usher him aside so that the water can be brought in, he easily turns his back when he has to take off those poor clothes and he lets him help wash it all off, all things that Jaskier will take the liberty to count as an _I like you too, a little bit_.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates comments, including: 
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> If you don’t want a reply, for any reason, feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!


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